Saturday, April 28, 2012

things change...

Yet again, I have been a bit behind on my blogging...

Things have sure been busy around the Ciani household
 & we have a whole lot to share!

Here at home, we have had a lot of up-coming unfortunate changes with Derrick's deployment. What we thought would be a deployment in March of 2013, is now pushed up to June-July of THIS year. Yes, that means just about a month from now! I cannot say where he is going, but it was a huge shock to both of us. Marring a Man in the Military, you know that they can leave at any time, that at some point they will leave to defend our country. I never thought that it was going to hit me so hard. Being just the two of us, the thought of him being gone never bothered me much as I have always been independent and don't mind the being alone part, but now that we have Madisyn, the thought of him leaving the both of us, him missing out on so much of her 1st year, her first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and even her first Birthday. He will come back, and will she even remember who he is? SO many thoughts keep running through my head as I try and prepare myself for what is to come...

Madisyn is growing like crazy and changes daily! She is now almost 4 months old (on May 5th). She is now learning to sit up, with the help of her Bumbo. She loves her playmat, swing, and bouncy chair. He favorite toy is still her seahorse & she is still addicted to her "paci". She is currnetly going through a  "Mommy phase" and doesn't like to be held by anyone but a select few ;) 

For my 25th Birthday (April 22nd), I decided to spend the day joining the Breath of Hope Walk to raise money and awareness for Lung Cancer in honor of my Mom. It was a difficult day for me to say the least. I couldn't help but think of the past and every birthday of mine that she made so special. All I kept thinking was, She is the woman who brought me into this world, who raised me to be the Mother that I am to my own child, and she is not even here to see it...

My 1st Birthday - April 22nd 1988

They say that the year of firsts after a loved one is gone is the hardest... but realizing that there will never be another Birthday celebration with her, another Christmas, Thanksgiving or Vacation with her brings be to tears. If you still have your Mom, cherish it! Never take one day for granted! My Mom is my best friend, someone I shared everything with, she was my biggest fan, my everything. This world will not the same without her.

The Space Needle, Seattle - May 2009

I am so blessed to have so many wonderful friends and family who came out to support me in my decision to walk and joined with me! I am so thankful for each and every person that came! Each one of you made my Birthday something to look forward to & helped us raise so much for lung cancer

Thank you EVERYONE!! We love you Mom, this one is for you

4 comments so far

  1. I know I've said it before, but you are really an inspiration. Despite all of the adversity that you are facing at this point, with missing your mama, and your hubby, and your princess, you are still following your dreams. Being self-employed is challenge enough for anyone! kudos for keeping it together and being an amazing wife and mama. Cherish these next few weeks and make sure you take a moment to pamper yourself and recharge. Love ya Chiquita!

    1. Thank you so much Courtney :) It's the support and comments from people like you that keep me going!

  2. So amazing Jenn! I'm so proud of u! I well be there for u always and I just hope u know how much we love u! U r so talented and I know its been a hard year for u, just trust in God and everything well b ok :) xo miss u tons

  3. Makes me so sad & happy reading this! I see how much you loved your mom and it makes me happy! And I am a big ole' baby and get teary eyed reading it but I love how much you cherished her! I feel the same about my mom! Praying for you and yours from here on out! XOXO



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